


Zhia Pt. 2 Battle Lines Drawn

by fromGallifreytoGallitep (sykira)



Series: Zhia’kala Tar’eh arranged marriage [2]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Episode Remix, Episode: s01e12 Battle Lines, F/M, Forced Marriage, Multi, kirashir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21643090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sykira/pseuds/fromGallifreytoGallitep
Summary: Remix of the episode 1 x 12 Battlelines.  Part of a re-imagining of the series in which Sisko's role is more than the Federation's representative: as emissary he is selected to seal the relationship between Bajor and the Federation by entering into an arranged marriage with Kira per Bajoran tradition and prophecy.
Relationships: Julian Bashir & Kira Nerys, Julian Bashir/Kira Nerys, Kira Nerys/Benjamin Sisko
Series: Zhia’kala Tar’eh arranged marriage [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1560253
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Tidings of Quietness and Grace

**Author's Note:**

> Still can't figure out where this goes in my arranged marriage AU, so opting to make it part of a series for now. If reading as a standalone then all you need to know is that I'm (slowly!) rewriting the show to explore how things would change if Sisko and Kira's explosive first season dynamic was further complicated by an arranged marriage.

Kira threaded her fingers together to try to stop herself from fidgeting as the turbolift hurtled towards airlock fourteen. 

Beside her, Commander Sisko stood as stoic and steady as ever. Kira envied him his poise; she hadn’t seen Opaka since the Kai had chosen her as the bride for the Federation’s envoy, and needless to say she hadn’t accepted the role gracefully, nor quietly. She hoped for a chance to redeem herself, there was no one she admired and revered more than Kai Opaka. 

“All right?” Sisko inquired softly.

She nodded. “Just…surprised by the Kai visiting us. I wonder what it could be about?”

Benjamin’s face showed he was as much in the dark as she was. The turbolift doors opened and Doctor Bashir greeted them with an exuberant grin and a bouncing gesture to follow him. “Commander, Major, I believe you know the Kai of Bajor.”

They approached the airlock as the diminutive woman stepped forward, enfolding Kira’s hand in both of hers. 

“Dearest Nerys!” she exclaimed, nothing but warmth in her eyes.

Relief flooded Kira that whatever Opaka was here for, it did not appear to be because they had displeased her. 

Kira bowed her head, crouching a little. She was the shortest member of Sisko’s crew—Dax and all the men standing at six feet or taller—but Kira still towered over Opaka. She had forgotten how short the Kai was – in Kira’s mind she was a giant intellect, commanding such respect, that it was once again a surprise she was so tiny in person.

“Kai Opaka,” Kira breathed reverently. 

“It gives me the greatest joy to see you at your husbands’ side.” Opaka beamed at them, moving to take Sisko’s hand in hers too without releasing Kira. She brought their hands closer to her, folding Kira’s over Sisko’s. Kira shivered slightly, electricity thrumming from the contact. She so rarely actually touched Sisko, and her cheeks warmed at the strangeness of it.

She didn’t dare meet his eyes, although she could feel him watching her. Usually he maintained a respectful distance at all times; it was as much of a relief to her as it was infuriating. She got the sense sometimes that he wouldn’t object if _she_ wanted to initiate something, indeed he might even welcome it if the way his eyes occasionally lingered on her were any indication. She had certainly thought about it, he was an attractive man. But whenever she was around him and they were alone she just ended up tongue-tied and awkward any time she even thought about touching him. 

Still holding their hands pressed together, Opaka closed her eyes as if in prayer. “Yes,” she proclaimed, sounding satisfied. She opened her eyes and her gaze penetrated Kira as if she could read her thoughts.

“We must go to the shrine.” She released them with an understanding smile.

“We would be delighted to show you anywhere on our station you would like to see, Kai,” Sisko said formally. He nodded to Julian. “Thank you doctor, we can take it from here.”

“Oh no,” the Kai interjected before a crestfallen Julian could respond. “This young man must stay with us.”

Sisko bowed a little. “As you wish.”

Kira was so glad to see how respectfully the commander was treating Bajor’s Kai. She didn’t know what she had expected exactly, but she had been on edge in case any of the Federation’s infamous disdain for religion came through. She had underestimated her commander – if the Prophets had to choose an alien as their emissary, the Prophets chose well.

Julian fell into step beside her, buoyancy in his gait. They walked a little ways behind Opaka, who had taken Sisko’s arm.

“Do I need to do anything special? I don’t want to offend the Kai, or anyone in the temple,” Julian whispered to her.

Kira smiled up at him, touched by the nervous sincerity in his voice. She touched her fingertips to his arm. “You’ll be fine, I’ll keep you right.”

His eyes crinkled at the corners as he gave her a relieved smile in return.

Everywhere they walked through the station Bajorans bowed upon seeing the Kai, and Kira was keenly aware of the honor of being in her presence. 

All the prylars and ranjens were standing at attention lining the entrance to the shrine. Opaka made it a point to greet and speak with each one of them, Sisko at her side. He looked over to Kira, and she gave him an encouraging smile.

“Kira,” Julian whispered, fidgeting at her side.

“You’re doing fine, Julian,” she assured him, her eyes still on Opaka.

“Something strange happened.”

The hesitation in his voice made her turn to him.

“At the airlock, when Kai Opaka came out of the transport…it was weird, it was like she knew me.”

“Weird how?”

“She came right up to me, a big smile on her face, and addressed me…” He hesitated again, running a hand around the back of his head.

“Go on,” Kira urged him quietly.

“She called me ‘the first husband of Bajor”.”

Kira frowned. “She had met the commander already, when he first came to Bajor.”

“That’s what I thought—that she had mistaken us, so I corrected her, but she just kept wanting to touch my ear!”

Kira had to smile at the earnestness on the doctor’s face. She squeezed his arm affectionately, releasing him quickly when she remembered how much scrutiny they were all under. A quick glance around reassured her that all eyes were focused on Opaka, and she breathed a sigh of relief. For all it was difficult to even contemplate touching Benjamin, she didn’t even think twice about reaching out to Julian for some reason.

“Did you let her?” she asked him.

“The ear thing? I was too busy running a quick scan to make sure she was in sound mind, to be honest. Then you and the commander showed up. Can you imagine if something happens to Bajor’s spiritual leader as soon as she leaves the planet for the first time?”

Kira nodded in agreement. She was greatly relieved that Odo and his deputies shadowed them. Julian’s words about his fear of something happening to the Kai had struck a chord inside her and she was on alert, although there was so reason to be: Opaka was beloved by all.

“If you get another chance, would you let her? Feel your pagh?”

“That’s the…” He gestured to his ear. 

“Ear thing, yes. It doesn’t hurt.” She smiled, he still looked adorably perplexed. 

He shrugged. “If she wants to.” Rocking back and forth on his heels, he leaned down to whisper to her. “Does she know you guys aren’t married yet?”

“You mean because she says ‘husband’? I think it’s just she thinks as the prophets do, after spending so much of her life in communion with them. They exist outside of time, so in a way, she is getting ahead of herself, but she doesn’t see it that way.” _And it effectively means this marriage is pre-destined, and there’s no getting out of it now._ Her stomach dropped and her chest tightened as the reality of this sunk in.

“Ah,” said Bashir, as if it all made sense, although she could read his face like a book, and he seemed no less confused.

Then he straightened as the Kai approached them, smiling widely at them both. She had one arm looped through Sisko’s and with her free hand she reached out to Julian, clutching his arm warmly too.

“Gentlemen, if I may, I would like a word in private with the bride.”

The shrine officiants bowed low as Opaka took Kira by the hand. With a last slightly bemused glance at Sisko and Bashir, Kira followed her inside the quiet temple.

Away from all the prying eyes of what seemed like every Bajoran on the station crowded onto the promenade, Kira felt she could breathe in here.

“Pray with me, Kira?”

“Yes, Opaka, of course.”

They knelt together, Kira feeling herself relax in a way she hadn’t in a long time as the candlelight and incense combined with the Kai’s soft chanting to transport her to a place where all the affairs of the station and matters of marriage seemed miles away.

When she opened her eyes again, Kai Opaka was watching her thoughtfully. Kira bowed her head, waiting. She wanted to apologize for her outbursts when last they had been together, when Opaka had confirmed her as the bride for the Federation, but she couldn’t find the words.

“Your husband has not troubled you, Nerys?” The Kai’s voice was tender.

Kira shook her head. “No, Opaka. He’s not unkind.”

Opaka just regarded her steadily. 

“We are not yet married, just betrothed,” Kira added, bracing herself for censure in case the Kai really did think the wedding had happened—she knew the Vedek Council were unhappy with the delay.

The Kai just inclined her head. “He is a good man, my dear. And you are so young, yet you have borne so much already. And there are difficult times ahead, but you will bear them too. Your life will not be an unhappy one. And Commander Sisko would be a gentle husband to you.”

“ _Would be,”_ she said under her breath, closing her eyes for a second. 

The Kai just waited.

“You’re going to say he would be all kinds of things if I would just give him a chance, if I would be able to just relax, let it happen.”

The Kai tilted her head enigmatically. “Am I?” 

“You’re not?” Kira inquired eventually when it appeared Opaka had said her piece.

“Those are the words of others, my dear Nerys. You must remember, the Sisko, he is of Bajor.”

“Please, Opaka, can you help me?” She didn’t know exactly what she was asking for, but she didn’t sense the Kai was angry or in any way disappointed with her.

Opaka sighed and straightened, reaching for Kira’s hand and drawing her closer. “It breaks so hard for you young women, after everything you had been put through by the vipers, only to now be told ‘just relax’ and try not to think of what went before. We are now something different, but it is not easy.”

She framed Kira’s face with her hands. “But for you, beloved, they will cherish you, whose gentle touch is already beginning to heal your fear of their embrace…in small ways, but it’s a start. His tender spirit with be a balm to your ravaged psyche, my precious child. In time, if you let him, there will be a path for your pagh and theirs, together to peace.”

Kira blinked. The Kai’s words were beautiful, and her rhythmic cadence entrancing, but she sensed she wasn’t fully understanding the nuances from her unusual way of speaking. For one thing, Sisko was anything but a tender spirit in her eyes. Except with Jake, she mused. He was tender towards him. Maybe that’s what the Kai meant.

“They fret for you. May I invite them into our temple?”

“Yes, Kai, of course.”

Her mind was preoccupied as the temple quickly filled with Bajorans. Bashir and Sisko came to her side. Seeing the concern in their eyes, she tried to do a better job of keeping her face neutral and smiling at the people filing in. 

The Bajorans gave Kira’s two Starfleet companions a wide berth however, still unsure of off-worlders. Although it saddened her, Kira was glad of the breathing room.

They walked through the liturgical rituals surrounded by the press of people – as many as the temple could hold. Kira tried to relax, to let the prayerful words flow through her and bring her peace. She couldn’t shake her awareness of Sisko and Bashir, taking their cues from her as they too went through the motions, but it filled her with warmth that they took it so seriously.

After the temple they walked around the station for a while, Opaka stopping to speak with many Bajoran residents. Kira couldn’t discern if they were just strolling or if the Kai had a destination in mind. Then she stopped at a viewport, gazing out into open space.

She had been strangely pensive since they left the temple. Kira studied her, concerned. “Is something wrong, Opaka?”

The Kai touched her pendant thoughtfully. “Contemplating prophecy.”

“It’s interesting you chose this viewport. The wormhole is just out there.” Kira cast a glance at Sisko and Bashir.

“It's a spectacular sight to see,” Julian offered, coming closer.

“Unfortunately, it can only be seen when a ship enters it or exits, but there’s nothing scheduled for today,” Sisko added.

“A shame.”

Sisko and Opaka held each other’s eyes for a long beat, then his hand moved to his combadge.

Kira thrilled to see how even the stalwart Commander Sisko appeared to have fallen under the Kai’s thrall, as he ordered the Yangtzee Kiang prepped for launch. 

At Bashir’s plaintive gaze, Sisko’s eyes flicked to Kira’s, then he allowed the young doctor to come along as well. Julian beamed at her as they fell into step again behind the Kai and Sisko. Kira couldn’t suppress an affectionate smile at his eagerness.

“It is such an honor to be taken through the Celestial Temple gates by the Bride of Bajor, her Federation husband, and the Emissary himself,” Opaka pronounced as they boarded the runabout.

Kira’s eyes widened. “Oh no, Kai Opaka, the honor is all ours!”

She stepped back to let the Kai seat herself, smiling as she watched Opaka involve Julian in giving her an explanation of the control panels.

Sisko was standing at the back of the runabout, just watching them, an unreadable expression on his face. Kira went to his side, meeting his eyes. “You don’t mind that we’re doing this?” she asked quietly, only just remembering in time not to add a ‘sir’ to her question.

His eyes softened. “Nerys, if this is finally a positive side to everything you have gone through—and have yet to go through—for the sake of the Bajoran people, then I would happily charter _all_ the station’s runabouts to ferry all the religious leaders through the wormhole all day long.”

She caught her breath, completely unsure how to respond. She wished she could muster up the courage to touch his hand or something, to let him know how much this meant to her, but he was standing so tall, in full Starfleet mode. He seemed to fill the entire spacious runabout even though it had to be ten times the size of a Bajoran craft used for similar purposes.

He just smiled at her, brushing his hand feather light over her shoulder as he moved to the co-pilot’s seat, leaving the pilot’s chair free for her.

The Kai’s loud exclamation drew Sisko and Kira’s attention immediately. They both moved toward her, concerned.

Kira was brought up short when she saw Opaka’s hand clasped around Julian’s ear, joy spreading across her face.

“Nerys!” Opaka cried out.

Kira crouched down at her side, casting a glance up at Benjamin, who was watching them, bemused, and then Julian, who quirked a confused eyebrow, and seemed more than a little entranced.

Opaka released him and grabbed for Kira’s hand, sighing audibly. “I am no longer worried for you, it all makes sense now.”

Kira tilted her head, hoping the Kai would elaborate, but she just turned back to Bashir.

“Doctor, may I feel your pagh again?”

He nodded, his eyes bewildered, but bending down slightly to be easier to reach.

That same beatific smile formed on Opaka’s face as she addressed Kira again. “Before, at the shrine, we spoke of not negatives: not unkind, not unhappy.”

Kira nodded quickly, embarrassment warming her cheeks at the thought of Sisko and Julian overhearing this.

“But now I see…there is so much joy here—or to come.”

She released Kira then, patting her hand as if to dismiss her. Kira straightened slowly as the Kai turned all her attention back to Julian. She beckoned him to come closer and he bent even lower at the waist. Then she murmured something in his ear that only he could hear.

Observing them out of the corner of her eye as she and Sisko sat at their consoles, Kira saw Julian hook a finger under his uniform collar, shifting a little in his chair as the Kai released him and took her seat behind Sisko.

Kira looked to Sisko, his eyebrows were raised but he otherwise made no comment. Julian was studiously avoiding her eyes, busying himself with his console. Deciding to follow Sisko’s quiet example for once, she tried to focus on making sure their trip through the celestial temple was as smooth as possible, but her curiosity was burning.


	2. Ternary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some parts of this are taken directly from the script: http://www.st-minutiae.com/resources/scripts/413.txt 
> 
>   
> **DEEP SPACE: "Battle Lines" - REV. 1/25/93 - ACT ONE 8.  
>  **
> 
> **10 EXT. SPACE - RUNABOUT (OPTICAL)**
> 
> **The ship is suddenly drawn forward into the kaleidoscopic  
>  vortex … emerges from the other side of the wormhole...**
> 
> **13 INT. RUNABOUT - ON OPAKA**
> 
> **The last flickers of interactive light on her face...**
> 
> **BASHIR  
>  Spectacular, isn't it...**
> 
> **OPAKA  
>  More than I imagined...**
> 
> **14 ANGLE - KIRA AND SISKO**
> 
> **Kira works controls briefly.**
> 
> **SISKO  
>  My smoothest ride yet, Major.**
> 
> **Everyone turns to Opaka, anticipating her response to the  
>  experience, but she gazes off into space silently. Leaning  
> forward, Bashir points out the window for her.**
> 
> **BASHIR  
>   
>  There's Idran, the closest system. It's a ternary star.**

Kira allowed herself an internal sigh of relief when they emerged in the Gamma quadrant, Sisko praising her piloting. A quick glance back at the Kai, Kira noticed her eyes looked damp, and she was fixated on the view screen.

Julian was explaining to her how they were close to Idran, and Sisko picked up the thread to elaborate on the Gamma quadrant. Opaka humored them politely.

They were about to head back to the station when sensors registered a narrow band subspace signal. 

Frowning slightly, Kira tried to decipher the signal. Sisko advised her to send out a probe and return through the wormhole, but Opaka rested a hand on his shoulder and next thing they knew they were going to investigate. 

Kira just hoped it would turn out to be nothing, Julian’s words still echoed in her mind, what if something happened to the Kai when she was in their care?

Many hours later Kira was sitting beside the Kai on a rock, staring straight ahead to avoid seeing the bodies littered all around them. Kira was numb inside, but her back was ramrod straight and any time one of the Ennis got too close to them she glared at them until they backed away. She had already lost Kai Opaka once today—and by some strange miracle she was resurrected just as the Ennis themselves were coming back to life after their latest skirmish with the Nol-Ennis—Kira was determined nothing else would happen to her on her watch.

“This day did not turn out like you were expecting, Nerys.”

She turned to the Kai, who looked so much more at peace with her surroundings than Kira would have thought possible. She envied her that.

“I never know what to expect, with life on the station, but no, this was…” She trailed off, still haunted by the lifeless body of Opaka in her arms. Her mouth went dry.

Opaka patted her knee. “This will be over soon for you, dear. Let us speak of what is ahead for you, we have not much time left together.”

Kira’s eyes moved to the mouth of the cave. She knew Sisko was just around the corner, negotiating with Shel-La, the leader of the Ennis. He had been reluctant to leave her and Opaka and had been insistent in telling her that if she raised her voice at all he would be back here in an instant.

Opaka moved her hand to Kira’s shoulder. “What would put your mind at ease?”

“Getting off this moon and back to the station.”

Opaka’s lips twitched. “Are you not curious what I saw when I felt Julian’s pagh?”

She had Kira’s full attention now. “Well, yes,” she admitted, lowering her voice.

“This one will be along on the journey, he will keep you safe.”

“Julian? I’m sorry he invited himself along, but he’s surprisingly helpful sometimes.”

“He was always supposed to be here.”

“On the shuttlecraft?”

The Kai nodded. “And here, at your side, yours and the commander’s”

“Julian? Why?”

“This one will be along on the journey, he will keep you safe,” she repeated patiently.

Kira frowned, confused. “Did you know we would come here?”

The Kai serenely shook her head. “I don’t just mean today, Kira.”

Kira softened her gaze as she glanced over at the mouth of the cave again, hoping Julian was okay on his own trying to repair the runabout’s computer. It had taken Sisko quite some effort to assure him it was safe to let her and the Kai out of his sight. 

“I suppose he is becoming a good friend. And his medical skills are second to none, Opaka, if he had been with us during the occupation a lot of lives would have been saved.” 

She was glad he wasn’t overhearing her or he would probably be preening by now—which used to annoy her but these days she found it harder to get indignant at his occasionally juvenile behavior. Normally she avoided verbalizing how she felt about him but she was trying to understand what the Kai was getting at.

Opaka’s hand squeezed her shoulder warmly. “What would you like to ask me about the emissary?”

The words tumbled out before Kira had even planned what to say. “ _Is_ this…what you have seen in your prophecies, the emissary and I…it is a full marriage, or, um, can it be a marriage in name only?” 

Something shifted in the Kai’s expression, unreadable, and Kira worried she had angered her. “It’s just…I would never have even thought about not going through with…everything a wedding entails, but he offered…Sisko, I mean, he offered that he and I wouldn’t have to…uh, be bedded on the wedding day, or-or at all, apparently it’s not even a necessary part of a Human marriage ceremony.” 

She pressed her fingers to her lips, shame creeping over her. Here she was wiffle-waffling about a fairly straightforward mission whereas the Kai had just faced death.

“I mean,” she qualified, “whatever the prophets ask of me I will do, I won’t shirk my duty, Kai Opaka.” She dropped her head.

“I know, Nerys.” Opaka’s voice was soft, and I have no wish to burden you with that which you dread but neither can I give you the answer you are desperate to hear.”

There was no censure in her voice. Her hand gentled on Kira’s head and when Kira risked a glance up at her Opaka was looking in the direction of the mouth of the cave.

“Do you remember how Julian described this Idran system? A ternary star.” Opaka clasped her hand, squeezing it warmly as if to punctuate her words.

Kira nodded, not really following, wondering if the Kai had changed the subject of conversation. If so, then ‘ _I cannot give you the answer you are desperate to hear_ ’ **was** an answer, wasn’t it? It felt like someone had sucked all the air out of the cave.

“Ternary…” The Kai nodded to herself. “But it’s not the ways of men you fear, is it Nerys?” 

Kira sucked in a breath. “I…don’t have much experience…uh, or really much time for, uh…” she cast about for the words but couldn’t come up with anything better than the Kai’s own phrasing, “…the ways of men,” she finished awkwardly, making a face at the expression.

Appearing to choose her own words carefully, Opaka eventually answered her. “The Prophets plan for you is not the life of a comfort woman, Kira.” 

With those words Kira’s heart skipped a beat and her face reddened with shame. She had not consciously framed it as such in her mind but wasn’t that exactly the heart of it? 

The Kai’s hand on her cheek drew her eyes back up to hers. “Don’t fret, dear. In what I see of your future no husband will force himself upon you. But yes, you will be married fully and completely, not name only.”

Her stomach sank. “So the emissary…”

“Have they been anything but kind with you? Shown you gentleness? They will keep you safe.”

At the Kai’s words it was Julian who popped into Kira’s head. Sisko could lose his temper sometimes, although he didn’t fly off the handle as much as she herself did, but Julian…had Julian ever even raised his voice to her? The only time she could remember seeing him angry was in defense of his patients.

“You keep saying they, you mean the Federation?”

“The Emissary represents many,” the Kai replied with a small, enigmatic smile. She seemed about to say more but just then Sisko came back to their side.

Opaka patted the rock next to her, indicating the commander should join them.

Sisko sat down and leaned in. “Shel-La is talking to the leader of the Nol-Ennis, Zlangco or something like that.”

Kira swallowed hard, trying to focus. “You think they will agree to a meeting?”

He spread his hands. “It is worth a try.”

Her eyes followed his hands, so strong, so imposing, and she swallowed with difficulty, her mouth dry.

Kira was surprised when Shel-La came to them with the news that the Nol-Ennis would at least listen to Sisko’s proposals to take them away from the moon as long as they could maintain a cease-fire for now. It seemed too good to be true.

“What if they use the opportunity to set a trap?”

Shel-La turned to her, smiling in something like respect at her words, but there was a predatory gleam in his eyes as they raked over her body.

“We have taken appropriate precautions, Major... but if you'd like to _personally_ check the security, I’m sure your commander would allow you to accompany us—”

Kira was on her feet in an instant, Sisko standing too as he cut off Shel-La.

“Major Kira will be staying here with the Kai,” his firm tone brooked no argument as he got threateningly close to the Ennis.

“A shame,” Shel-La drawled, giving Kira another once-over.

She knew better than to let her discomfort show in her face, she merely stared him down until he turned and left them alone again. And it was easier than meeting Sisko’s eyes.

After an uncomfortable moment, Sisko’s eyes flicked to her then he followed Shel-La, leaving them alone again. Kira could feel Opaka studying her. 

“He’s angry,” Kira muttered under her breath.

“You fear you have disappointed him, but it is not you he is angry at, Nerys.”

Kira turned to her and at her urging, sat down beside her again.

Opaka reached for her hand. “Shel-La and his men would accept your help all too readily, but they have no genuine desire to learn better strategy. Instead their true desire is separate you from the Sisko and your Julian.”

“He’s not my—separate me?”

“Sisko and Julian have already discussed if they wouldn’t be better off just disappearing with us until rescue arrives – assuming they could either escape this inhabited area or shelter somewhere here where you couldn’t be found. But I convinced them we should stay amongst these people, that we may be of some help to them, despite their desperate situation.”

“Oh.” Kira looked down. She was unused to the Federation’s almost paternal behavior, and she didn’t know how to react. Julian in particular had been overly protective since they crash-landed, and she had never seen him so violently angry as when the Ennis had confiscated his medical bag that he needed to fix her shoulder.

“They agreed but you must stay by my side, Kira, it is not safe here, they are right about that.” She squeezed Kira’s hand.

“I will not leave you, Kai, I won’t let anyone hurt you again,” she replied vehemently.

The Kai just smiled sadly. “You can't bury it, Kira.”

Kira blinked. “What?”

“Do you recognize yourself in these people?”

Kira frowned, wrenching away from Opaka and taking a few steps away from her disturbing words. “Me? Oh not…not at all. I-They're content to _die_. I've always fought to stay alive. I…” 

She could hear the agitation in her own voice but she couldn’t help it. She sat down at Opaka’s side, half kneeling before her. “I don't want you to have the wrong impression of me, Opaka."

"Just what impression do you think I have?”

“Did…” She stood again, too upset to stay still. “Did I enjoy any of this. I- I don't enjoy fighting. Yes, I've fought my entire life, but for a good cause, for our freedom, our independence. And it was...it was brutal and ugly and... I...”

She had to pause for breath, struggling with the words. 

“But that's over for me now, that’s not who I am. I…I-I don't want you to think that I'm...this...violent person without a soul, without a conscience...that…that's not who I am.”

She wanted to fall on her knees and beg with her eyes for Opaka to accept her words. 

Opaka looked at her with compassion. Kira trembled as Opaka reached out with her right hand touched her fingertips to her ear. At the touch, tears sprang unbidden to her eyes, and she choked back a sob, moving into the Kai's embrace.

“Don't deny it, the violence in you, Kira. Only when you accept it, can you move beyond it.” She hugged her close, murmuring soothingly. Kira couldn’t remember what it was like to have a mother hold her, but she imagined it must feel something like this, and that just made her tears stream down her cheeks.

“I've known nothing but violence since I was a child,” Kira whispered brokenly, hiding her face in shame in the Kai’s embrace.

“In the eyes of the Prophets’,” she paused, drawing back to gaze into Kira’s face, but keeping her arms firmly around her. “…We are all children. Bajor has much to learn from peace.”

Searching her eyes, desperate for solace, Kira managed quietly, “I'm afraid the prophets won’t forgive me.”

Opaka smiled then, her eyes full of love as she cradled Kira’s face in her hands. “They're just waiting for you to forgive yourself.”


	3. Hysteresis Curve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **DEEP SPACE: "Battle Lines" - REV. 1/25/93 - ACT FOUR**  
>  **O'BRIEN  
>  Runabout hulls are made out of metallic composites that interact  
> with magnetic fields... We could send out a few probes to scan the  
> system for those specific magnetic resonance patterns. If Sisko's  
> Runabout is in the system, we might just pick up a fluctuation in the  
> hysteresis curve...**  
>    
> **DAX  
>  The magnetic deflection of a Runabout hull's going to be extremely weak.  
> The probes will never be able to detect it.**
> 
> **O'BRIEN  
>  They will if I can outfit them with a differential magnetomer...**
> 
> **DAX  
>  A differential magnetomer? I've never heard of a differential magnetomer, Chief.  
> How does it work?**
> 
> **O'BRIEN  
>   
>  I'll let you know as soon as I've finished making one...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “The hysteresis effect… the term is used to describe any system whose response depends not only on its current state, but also upon its past history…” http://scienceworld.wolfram.com/physics/HysteresisEffect.html
> 
> (Ok so this is mostly to do with magnetic fields, but if you consider the episode is about beginning to heal from the occupation, yet still having its effects overshadow the present, then this [canon] technobabble has an exquisite double meaning. And don’t even get me started on Bashir and his ternary system!)

Tearing his eyes away from Nerys and Opaka, Sisko made Julian run through everything he had learned from analyzing the microbes’ nano technology. They were waiting for O’Brien and Dax to fool the orbiting satellites into opening a window large enough to secure a transporter lock, and Julian looked like he was about ready to jump out of his skin anytime one of the Ennis veered too close to where Kira and Opaka huddled together in the middle of the cave.

But Sisko wasn’t just trying to distract Julian, mostly he just wanted to focus on something other than his ire at Shel-La, Zlangco, and the rest of these bloodthirsty idiots on this damned moon. They had a chance to put an end to this, but they were too blinded by hate to take advantage of it.

He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

Julian continued soberly, “…so unless I can deprogram them at the cellular level, there’s really nothing I can do. When I get the results of my analysis to the science team at Starfleet perhaps they can suggest something. But until then…”

“The Kai is trapped here.” Sisko sighed heavily.

Julian’s shoulders fell. “I’m not sure she would leave even if we could find a way, commander. She seems set on this idea that she’s fulfilling prophecy by staying here.”

“Hmm.” Sparing a glance from his vigil of watching over Opaka and Nerys, who were sitting together on a boulder still, deep in conversation, Sisko looked to the doctor. “She took a shine to you, the Kai.”

“I suppose. I can’t get what she said to me out of my head.”

“On the runabout? When she touched your…” He gestured at his ear, the idea of a pagh still making him uncomfortable.

“Yes. I didn’t fully understand it but it was something like ‘ _take care of her,’_ or protect her, something about men maybe, or I might have imagined that, it’s weird when she talks to you, it’s like things pop into your head that she doesn’t actually mention?”

Sisko nodded, he had experienced the same thing, and his mind refused to process the ramifications of it being anything more than his imagination.

“Then this part I remember for sure, ‘ _she is hurt in ways you cannot see’._ ”

Sisko’s eyebrows drew down. “She was talking about the major?” He ran a hand over his face, knowing the answer but not wanting to admit to himself what the Kai’s words could mean. And why would she tell this to Julian, but not him, if he was supposed to become Nerys’ husband? Unless that was why…

“Yes.” Julian ran a hand around the back of his neck. “And then when we crashed, and Kira was injured—not just her shoulder, which she messed up pretty badly, she’s limping a little too but won’t let me look at it yet.”

“So you think the Kai was taking about taking care of her medically?”

Julian shrugged helplessly. “Or was the timing just coincidental? And the way the men here look at her—like dogs.” He didn’t bother hiding the anger in his voice. 

Sisko found his admiration for Julian growing by the second. He placed a hand on the younger man’s shoulder. “She’s okay, Julian. We will get out of here soon, we won’t let anyone near them.”

Julian swallowed. “Do you think Opaka knew—that we would crash here? That any of this would happen?”

Sisko pressed his lips together. “If she knew anything it was just that she wouldn’t be coming back, I think.” He couldn’t believe that he—a Starfleet commander—was giving any credence at all to this prophecy nonsense. Politically expedient archaic customs requiring arranged marriages to secure peace treaties were one thing, but if there really was something to this religion that had nominated him an emissary, he didn’t know how to begin to wrap his head around it. The visions he had been given of Jennifer were still too stark and raw to even think about.

“But Kai, you cannot leave us, Bajor needs you now more than ever…the peace accord is tenuous, civil war threatens every other day, the provisional government is tearing itself apart!”

“No, Kira. Bajor doesn’t need me, not any more. Bajor needs you. And the emissary.” She cupped Kira’s face in her hands. “You have been fighting for Bajor your whole life. I wish I could tell you your struggles are at an end with the end of the occupation, but by your own words you see clearly that this is not the case.” 

Her gaze moved meaningfully over Kira’s shoulder to where Sisko and Bashir stood watchfully at the mouth of the cave, giving them space. Then her eyes locked with Kira’s again. “I know this marriage presents many trials for you, I feel your fear as if it were my own when I sense your pagh. In many ways the life of raiding and fighting and killing was easier; the burdens of wedlock are many.” 

She glanced at the Starfleet officers again. “They need you too. You are not the only one who was brought here to begin to heal.” She took Kira’s hand one last time. “Let them in.”

Kira swallowed. “I…he…”

“…won’t hurt you, Kira.”

She dropped her eyes. “I’m not afraid.”

“Yes you are—”

Kira snapped her head up. “I’m not a coward!”

“I know,” the Kai replied so gently and with such conviction that Kira’s eyes filled with tears again. “It’s all right to be scared, Nerys, it is not fear that makes someone a coward. You have never let fear stop you, have you?”

She shook her head.

“And in time you will find out there is no need to be afraid. My dear, they will give you that, lots of time. But now you need to go.”

With one last warm press of her hands, Opaka released her, and Kira had to suppress a shiver. When her pagh had been in communion with the Kai the connection had been so powerful she had the feeling that she could do anything, as long as the Kai believed in her. But without that connection she was bereft. Her arms moved around herself.

She saw understanding in Opaka’s eyes. “You aren’t alone anymore, Kira. Go to them.”

She bit her lip but inclined her head in obedience. Surrendering to an alien husband was nothing compared to what the Kai was facing: living here alone among these warmongers on this bleak, inhospitable moon, and for eternity for all they knew.

Straightening her shoulders, she closed the distance back to Sisko and Bashir, determined to follow the Kai’s example of quietness and grace. She heard O’Brien’s voice, still shrouded in static.

_“Establishing pattern lock.”_

“Okay?” Bashir asked her softly, worry for her evident in his voice. She pursed her lips and nodded at him. 

Sisko looked down at her, his eyes so deeply concerned Kira was touched. “I’m sorry we have to leave her here,” he murmured. 

Kira just nodded back at him, not trusting herself to speak in case she let the tears fall.

“If there was another way…”

Remembering the Kai’s advice to seek comfort from him, she brushed their hands together—it wasn’t much, but it was all she could manage to do for now.

Her touch stopped Sisko’s words and caused him to inhale sharply. His fingers twitched at his side, but he didn’t take her hand, much as he looked like he wanted to.

Shel-La came up to them, his face like thunder. “Wait... you can't leave without giving us the—”

Sisko moved to put himself between Shel-La and Kira, then cut him off. “Energize when ready, Chief.”

He turned to the Kai. “Opaka,” he looked at her with regret in his eyes. “If we can ever find a way...”

She held up her hand. “My work is here now, Commander. But your pagh and mine will cross again.”

Kira’s eyes were almost blinded by tears but she held the Kai’s gaze.

_“Energizing.”_

They rematerialized on the runabout. O’Brien and Dax crowded around them in concern, yet despite being in amongst the crew she had come to consider her friends, emptiness stole over Kira even more acutely now that she had left the Kai behind. It was like there was a weight on her chest, it was hard to breathe.

“Are you doing all right, Nerys?”

She looked up at her intended as he turned to her, holding out his hand. Steeling herself, Kira slid her palm over his. Warm, and not scaly. If she closed her eyes he would have been indistinguishable from a Bajoran man—at least while she was touching only his hand. She looked up at him, her eyes catching as they often did on the unnatural absence of ridges on his nose; not Bajoran, but not Cardassian either.

“Thank you,” she managed. “Do you think…” She looked up at Julian who had moved closer to her other side, his hand hovering near her elbow but not quite touching. “Do you think there will ever be a way to bring her back?” At the look in their eyes, she continued, “or at least reprogram those nano-things to let their lives end naturally?”

She could feel Dax bristling with curiosity just off to the side as she exchanged a look with Miles.

Miles cleared his throat. “If everyone’s all right and no one else is coming…” He paused to shoot a questioning glance to Sisko who just shook his head. “Then I’m going to get us underway before those satellites target us.”

“Good idea, Chief,” Sisko replied grimly.

 _No,_ Kira wanted to scream, _not without the Kai._

Julian lifted his hand and squeezed her arm gently, his eyes moving to where Benjamin was still holding her hand. Kira's stomach did a slow flip at the unexpectedly strange situation of having them both touching her in affection at the same time, and crazy though it was, she heard Opaka's words echo in her mind, how she kept referring to Benjamin as 'they’.

Julian released her after only a brief moment, but she was still reeling. “I promise you Nerys, I’ll do everything I can. I’m going to upload all my data right now and when we’re back at the station we can see what we’re dealing with, okay?”

She nodded, but she could tell by his tone that if there was a solution, it wouldn’t be easy to find.

Julian turned to Benjamin. “Sir, let me know if you want me to check out any of your injuries.”

At Kira and Dax’s raised eyebrows, he added, “our commander has some impressive chops on the battlefield, usually at that rank they lose some of their hand-to-hand combat skills.”

At Sisko’s pointed look Julian ducked his head to hide his smile, and headed off to the front of the runabout. Kira felt she could breathe again now Julian had successfully shifted the attention off her.

O’Brien joined him. “Permission to return to the Alpha quadrant, sir?” 

“Permission granted, chief.” Sisko’s eyes were still holding Kira’s as he guided her to sit down.

She looked up at him. “ _Are_ you okay?” she pressed, a little disturbed at the idea of him in combat. Her eyes raked over him. This was her mission now, this man. She swallowed down her discomfort and dusted off his shoulder, his uniform certainly looked like he had been rolling around in dirt.

He was staring at her in something like wonder. “I’m fine,” he breathed.

Right. That might possibly be the first time she had expressed concern for his welfare if his amazement was anything to go by—but this was far from the first time he had shown concern for her. Opaka was right, this was on her. And she could do this. She decided if Julian could make things light then she would follow his lead.

“Is that true, what Doctor Bashir said?” She took a deep breath and ignored the thumping of her heartbeat in her ears, then squeezed his hand. “My husband-to-be can hold his own in battle?”

Sisko took a moment to find words. “I might be a little rusty,” he intoned, surprise making his voice gruff. He softened it with a lopsided smile, which she returned.

“Maybe we can spar sometime.”

He smiled widely at that. “I don’t know, I’ve seen your mean upper cut in action.”

She grinned back, then prompted herself to keep going. “I talked about you—about us—with Kai Opaka.” She wasn’t sure how she expected him to react to this.

“What did she say?” His voice was calm, his eyes curious; he wasn’t angry she noted with relief.

“She, uh,” Kira bit her lip. “I suppose she helped me come to terms with things.”

“With things?”

“With us…this,” she took a breath and forced herself to meet his eyes, “this marriage.”

They were speaking in low tones, seated in the back of the runabout, but she could feel Dax’s curious stares from the co-pilot seat. Julian and Miles were engaged in their own conversation but she had the distinct impression they were both listening in too, just more circumspectly than Dax.

“I’m glad,” he breathed, his eyes searching hers. “Was there anything that bothered you? You seem a little pensive since we returned.”

Kira swallowed, at a loss for how to answer that. _Everything about being forced into marriage with an alien,_ was what came to mind.

“She spoke of you in the plural.” It was all she could come up with that seemed innocuous.

Not understanding, Sisko’s head tilted.

“The Kai. She said ‘ _they_ ’ when she meant you.”

“Hmm, Julian said something similar from when she spoke with him. Why do you think that is?”

She shrugged. “I guess because to her it’s not that I’m marrying one man, it’s more that this is a marriage between my people and yours.” She dropped her eyes. “Or maybe she just thought it would be easier if I saw things that way, focused on everything we can accomplish for all Bajor just by getting married.”

“Maybe.” He was still looking at her, his eyes encouraging her to continue, but just then they entered the wormhole and the beautiful kaleidoscope of light and color and motion filled her senses. She released a breath she didn't know she had been holding.

Sisko’s hand brushed hers when they emerged on the other side, and when she looked up at him he was smiling slightly.

She swallowed. “Would you want to get breakfast again sometime? You, me, and Jake?”

His eyes lit up. “I would like that very much, and Jake will be delighted.” Then his face fell and he ran a hand over his head.

“You okay?” she ventured.

“It’s just…Nerys, I have no idea why I am still talking to you in such a stiff and formal manner. If we are to be man and wife, I need to stop being so…” He spread his hands.

“Guarded?” she suggested quietly. “I haven’t exactly made it easy for you.”

He inclined his head—too polite to verbally confirm what they both knew to be true. “I’ll have the new quarters in a day or so - perhaps I could make you brunch?”

“They’ll be ready that soon?” Did brunch mean Jake wouldn’t be around? She shook off the tremor at being alone with him in his quarters – he had already made it clear that physical intimacy was off the table until the wedding.

“Not renovated completely by any means, but functional.”

She drew a breath. “I’d like that.” She hid her reservations behind an awkward smile, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip as she ducked her head. But she was determined not to let Opaka down. “Maybe,” she continued hesitantly, “we could talk about meeting with the vedek council.”

He let out a low whistle of surprise. “You mean—about the wedding?”

She nodded. “They’ve been unrelenting lately, trying to get us to sit down with them and set a date.” She tried not to squirm under his intense gaze.

He cleared his throat and spoke cautiously. “I know that’s what the vedeks want, they and the provisional government send daily communiqués to Starfleet. But, Nerys…do _you_ feel ready for that?”

She closed her eyes, seeing in her mind’s eye Kai Opaka accepting her fate—a much worse one than living in comfort as the bride of the emissary—with quiet grace.

She opened her eyes and set her shoulders. Sisko gave her an encouraging smile. 

“Yes, Benjamin, I’m ready.”


	4. Cherish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back from the Gamma quadrant without Opaka, Kira can't sleep.
> 
> From chapter one:  
>  _She framed Kira’s face with her hands. “But for you, beloved, they will cherish you, whose gentle touch is already beginning to heal your fear of their embrace…in small ways, but it’s a start. His tender spirit with be a balm to your ravaged psyche, my precious child. In time, if you let him, there will be a path for your pagh and theirs, together to peace.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long delay in updates - I keep writing this series piecemeal, so I have a lot more yet to post, even some Actual Sex stuff *gasp* but as usual it take me forever to write the in between bits to actually get there. (So no shenanigans of the NC17 variety as yet, I'll warn for those when we get there!)

“Get some rest, okay? I’ll see you in the morning?” Benjamin smiled hopefully down at Kira as they exited the runabout.

“In the morning,” she echoed, breathing in a lungful of clean (if recycled) station air, and trying not to feel guilty for how good it felt to be home when the Kai had been left behind.

“If I may?” Julian interjected, looking back and forth between Kira and Sisko uncertainly. “I do need to run a neuromuscular scan on that shoulder, major.”

She sighed. “Can it wait until—”

Sisko’s deep voice cut her off. “No, it can’t, major. You’re off duty until medically cleared, and at least until twenty six hours from now.” She recognized his command tone, and his formal use of her rank, but she also saw the genuine concern in his eyes when she looked up at him.

“Understood.” She allowed herself a wry smile and barely restrained herself from rolling her eyes at the pair of them.

“Can I at least shower and change first?” She let her eyes rove the dirt-covered uniforms of Benjamin and Julian pointedly.

Sisko turned to Bashir, who quickly realized the commander was deferring to him. 

“Fine with me, I’ll be in the infirmary when you’re ready.”

“Am I done?” Kira rotated her shoulder experimentally. Other than the charring of her uniform jacket all visible sign of injury was gone. Julian really was remarkable.

Julian set his medical tricorder down on the biobed beside her, and hesitated.

“What?” she demanded.

“For a major joint injury involving tissue damage Starfleet medical protocol recommends joint manipulation to help with healing.” He looked at her for a moment. “But it’s not strictly necessary, it would just ease stiffness and let me know if the nerves are functioning properly.”

She tilted her head, not totally following, but intrigued by his uncharacteristic reticence. “Not strictly necessary?”

He pressed his lips together before speaking again, appearing to be choosing his words carefully. “Not if it might make you uncomfortable.”

She tilted her head and folded her arms—gingerly, as her shoulder still felt a little stiff even though all visible bruising and scarring was gone. “What does that mean anyway—joint manipulation?”

“May I?”

At her nod he walked behind her and placed a hand gently on her shoulder. She jumped slightly, and turned her face towards him a little, trying to see what he was doing.

“Relax, it’s all right, I will be very gentle.”

He increased the pressure of his hand on her shoulder, slowly kneading her tender muscles. Kira swallowed. Once she allowed herself to relax a little it actually felt…good? She found herself leaning back into him slightly.

“By joint manipulation I mean I would have you lie down and I would do a thorough check for full range of motion and any sensitive areas. Mostly around the rotator cuff…” his fingertips traced a careful circle around her shoulder blade and below, “and then use some massage therapy to release the muscle tension, try to take some pressure off the scapula so you don’t end up with back strain from the injury today.”

His hands moved to what was presumably a scapula, gentling on her shoulder blade then his thumbs slowly circling sore muscles that ached pleasantly under the pressure from his surprisingly strong hands. She could feel her eyes closing as she leaned back a little more, following his encouragement to let him take her weight against his chest. 

He moved his forearm around her front, settling carefully across her collarbone to provide counterpressure to his hand.

She forgot to breathe, it felt so intimate, and his arm was so close to her throat she tensed, expecting to feel threatened—how many Cardassians tried to get her in a chokehold in a not dissimilar position? But this was somehow not at all threatening, maybe because he was still mumbling about scapulas and rhomboids and trapezi-something, so there was no way she could forget it was just Julian, his soft voice close to her ear now.

“Breathe,” he murmured, “that’s it, just relax.”

“Doctor Bashir?”

Kira sat up abruptly, biting back a cry of pain as the sudden movement jarred her shoulder. She didn’t know if she expected to see censure as she looked up into the face of one of Julian’s Starfleet medical assistants, but the young man barely spared her a glance, even though Julian hadn’t moved to take his hands from her shoulders and was still holding her against his chest.

He released her when she wriggled free.

“Sorry, I’ll come back,” the medical assistant conceded, making a quick exit after looking at Julian.

Kira cleared her throat, remaining facing away from Julian so he wouldn’t see how flushed she was. “Am I cleared for duty?”

He took a breath. “You heard the commander. A full day off, and then yes, if you let me run a quick scan before you start your shift. Right now though you need to rest.”

“ _You’re_ on duty,” she pointed out, aware that she sounded a little petulant, but annoyed by all this Starfleet babying – these soft people wouldn’t have lasted a day in the occupation.

“Only until I finish with you, then I’m heading to bed too, major.” He moved until he was in front of her and gave her a warm smile – by now he was accustomed to her outbursts and they never seemed to faze him.

She nodded once, still flustered. “Thanks for the, uh—good night.”

She barely heard his answering good night, she was already halfway to the promenade.

Hours later Kira was still staring at the ceiling. All she could see when she closed her eyes was the face of the Kai. Each time she dozed off, she startled awake again, and each time she jerked back to consciousness, her flinch response jarred her shoulder, causing a fresh ache right in the area Julian had traced with his fingers.

 _Well, too late now, Nerys,_ she schooled herself. _This is what you get from too much pride and giving the poor young doctor such a hard time when he only wanted to help._

She remembered suddenly Opaka making fun of her one of the times she had referred to Julian as young. The Kai had wasted no time in pointing out that Julian was older than Kira herself. Kira had been taken aback by how much the Kai had talked about Julian.

Kira absently rubbed her aching shoulder. Opaka’s words about healing touch came into her head just then and she remembered that when the Kai had said she would come not to fear their embrace, it would be because of their gentleness.

It was all so mixed up though, because it was Julian who came to mind, not her future husband—the man whose touch she would have to bear soon enough when they set a wedding date with the vedeks, as she had promised him they would.

She shook her head to clear it, the memories of Opaka only sharpening her pangs of sorrow over losing her. Then she winced as the simple action of shaking her head sent a new lance of pain from her neck through her shoulder blade. Everything felt tight all over her upper back.

Cautiously climbing out of bed, Kira decided to try the infirmary anyway. Maybe there would be a night nurse on duty who could give her something for the pain until Julian woke up?

“Doctor? I thought you said you were going to bed?”

Julian appeared to be the only one in the infirmary. He turned to her in surprise. “Major!” He gave her a warm smile, so open and welcoming she couldn’t do anything but return it. 

“I did try to sleep,” he said, sounding slightly abashed, “but my mind kept running through scenarios where I might be able to rescue Kai Opaka.”

Touched at how much the same thing was weighing on both of them, Kira came closer, observing his slightly bloodshot eyes and the slump in his posture. “Any luck?”

“Not yet.” He rubbed the back of his hand across his forehead.

“I doubt she would let us rescue her even if we could,” she ventured softly, hoping to alleviate the guilt in his eyes.

“Not now maybe, but someday.” He shook himself out of his melancholy and ran a critical eye over her. “But you came back—is it the shoulder?”

She twisted her lips sheepishly. “I’ll make you a deal – could you try that manipulation thing and then we’ll both go to bed?”

The corner of his lips quirked up, but he didn’t let it turn into a full-blown smile. If she hadn’t gotten so good at reading him, she might have missed his amusement. 

“What?” She mentally replayed her last words and felt heat infuse her face when she realized what it sounded like she had said. “Get some sleep, I mean. Oh, you know what I meant.”

“You have a deal, major. Let me feel you up and we go to bed.” His face broke into a boyish grin that she found impossible to be upset with. She rolled her eyes and fake-punched him in the arm, before freezing mid-motion with a hiss of pain.

The humor in his eyes gave way to concern, and his voice softened. “Let’s see what we can do for you, shall we?”

She returned his quiet, hopeful smile as he led her into one of the small treatment rooms at the back.

“Lie down on your front, if that’s alright.”

Kira paused. “Jacket on or off?” She struggled to keep her voice even and to match Julian’s calm, easy demeanor. No need to make a big deal out of this, it was just medical treatment.

“This will be easier if you can take it off but it’s just what you feel comfortable with.” His matter of fact tone made her breathe easier. For all she ribbed him, he really was an excellent doctor.

Slowly, moving gingerly, she undid her jacket and let it slip off her shoulders, into Julian’s waiting hands. He just watched her as she climbed up on the biobed.

His brow creased in concern. “Am I making you nervous, or is the guarding you’re doing because of the pain?”

“Guarding?”

“The stiffness in your movements?”

“Yeah,” she admitted self-consciously, “it’s just it hurts when I move around.”

“I’d like to give you a muscle relaxant and something for the pain then. It won’t need to be too strong a dose but it will help you relax and let me work on the muscles.”

She nodded, trying to get comfortable on the biobed. Lying face down just felt…weird. “Are there side effects?” she asked belatedly as he touched a hypospray to her neck.

He shrugged. “Sleepiness. Might make you a little dizzy.”

A slight frown appeared on his face as he ran his eyes over her. “Um, hold on.” He disappeared for a moment and returned carrying two pillows. “These might help you get more comfortable if you put it under your, uh…these biobeds aren’t very forgiving.” He quirked his lips, avoiding her eyes.

“Thanks,” she murmured, watching as he discreetly turned away, giving her time to arrange the pillows to reduce the pressure on her chest.

She settled herself a little more comfortably now, and turned her head so she could still keep him in sight as he busied himself fiddling with a tricorder. His slight stammer and ducking his head when he gestured vaguely at her breasts signaled possibly the first crack she had seen in his professionally detached veneer. She allowed herself a small smile, he really was adorable.

Strangely, she felt more in control now Julian had revealed himself to be at least a little shy himself. He was always so poised when he was in doctor mode.

He smiled gently as he turned back to her and caught her watching him. “Ready?” he asked quietly. “Do you mind if I close the door?”

Just like that her sense of calm began to dissolve. “Um, are we the only ones here?” 

He nodded. “I sent my night staff home early when I couldn’t sleep, but the next late shift is due in soon.”

She shook her head at herself. As if it would make any difference to anything—there was no logical basis to it, it just felt weird to have him close the door and be alone with her in this tiny therapy room. Would Benjamin have a problem with it? She doubted it.

She could feel his eyes on her as she took a deep breath, which was easier said than done lying flat like this. “Maybe you should keep it open so if someone needs medical attention you will still hear them?”

He smiled gently. “Good idea.”

He came over to her again. Kira suddenly felt silly just lying there, and strangely exposed, even though she was fully dressed, having taken the time to pull her full uniform on before venturing out to the infirmary in the middle of the night.

He watched her for a moment, then reached out slowly, placing a warm hand on her shoulder. Her arms were bare without her jacket, and when his fingertips grazed her skin she shivered, despite all of her efforts to suppress it, goosebumps traveling all the way down her arm. Her heart began to race.

He withdrew his hand and sucked in a breath.

“Do you think I could get a blanket?” she blurted out, before he could say anything.

“Oh, sure. I can make it warmer in here too.”

She shivered again when he draped a warm blanket all over her, but just like before, it was very much the good kind of shiver. 

“Okay?” he uttered softly.

“Mmm,” she affirmed, turning to smile at him.

He smiled back, looking relieved. Then carefully, his hand settled on her back again. After a moment he began kneading her shoulder, the pressure increasing steadily.

She made a small noise of surrender, closing her eyes. She had no idea her back had been so tense until he began working the muscles. They protested at first, but soon relaxed under the warm, soothing push and pull of his hands.

“Tell me if the pressure is too much,” he stated quietly.

“Mnphh,” she said into the pillow, barely restraining a groan of pleasure as he placed his other hand so now he was massaging both shoulders. He continued for a while, firm pressure and broad strokes, until she felt like she was melting, all nervousness gone—all thoughts of anything gone for those precious minutes.

Julian paused, and reluctantly she opened her eyes.

He was smiling at her. “Can I pull the blanket down a bit?”

She made a noise of consent, blinking sleepily.

His smile widened and he carefully peeled back the blanket. She closed her eyes and stifled a sigh when his warm fingers spread out over her back and shoulders. Her skin tingled on her neck and arms as his hands began to move, brushing against her bare skin again. The goosebumps spread out over her whole body now.

“Hmm, Nerys, I’m glad you came back.”

She mumbled in agreement. This felt so good she could barely concentrate on his words. 

He worked deeper and she gasped.

“Does it hurt?”

She nodded into the pillow. “Don’t stop,” she moaned when his hands slowed.

She felt a feather light touch on her hair. “Nerys?”

Sluggishly realizing he couldn’t hear her when she mumbled incoherently into the pillow, she turned her face to his. He was leaning in close. “Too hard?”

“Mmm no it’s perfect. It hurts.”

He quirked an eyebrow.

“…but it’s a good hurt, please keep going?”

One side of his mouth ticked up in a smile that was halfway to a pleased smirk. He dug in with his thumbs again and she dropped her face back into the pillow with a full-throated groan.

“Your muscles are really tight, I’m not surprised you couldn’t sleep. I’m going to give you a little more muscle relaxant, okay? And I want you to stay in bed in the morning, you’re not on duty anyway, and you need to give this shoulder time to heal.”

She lifted her hand in acquiescence. She was incapable of arguing with him, it was all she could do not to complain when his hands withdrew to prepare the hypospray. After he administered it her head was swimming, but once he went back to working out the knots in her neck and back nothing else mattered anymore. She could just lie here and feel herself float.

She went limp as he encouraged her to drop her arm down to the side, then he put her shoulders through a full range of motion—first demonstrating with her undamaged shoulder, and then more tentatively with her other shoulder—all the while pressing in a circle around her shoulder blade, murmuring something about rotor cuffs and ligaments that could have as easily been poetry or gobbledygook as far as she was concerned.

Finally, when she had all but drifted off, and her entire upper back was liquid, his hands slowed again.

“Still awake?” he whispered.

“No.”

He knelt down until his face was level with hers, one hand still gentling on her shoulder. “I meant what I said, Nerys. You need _rest._ I am not a miracle worker, and I want you to give this shoulder the best chance possible to heal fully.”

His stern doctor-voice made her smile, but then at the word _heal_ something rebounded inside her head, like déjà vu, and the Kai’s words came back to her again. “Heal,” she muttered under her breath. She been too afraid earlier, to allow Julian to do this, but his unassuming manner had won her over. Opaka spoke of healing her fear, that their gentleness could do that, and it had been Julian that popped into her mind.

She stopped breathing for a moment, confounded by what it meant, and why it was _Julian’s_ touch when it was supposed to be Benjamin…but it definitely helped take away the sense of ‘otherness’ that had been so strong when she first encountered Humans. Maybe that was all the Kai meant.

Regardless, she was too foggy-headed to sort anything out right now. Julian was babbling on, something about using the transporter.

“No, don’t be silly Julian, I can walk back.” She pulled herself up, blinking away the dizziness before climbing down from the biobed. “You Starfleet types—the energy you burn on frivolous transporter use would heat Dahkur province for an entire winter.” She closed her mouth quickly, she hadn’t meant to say that last part out loud and it seemed so ungracious to be complaining about Starfleet after all he had just done for her. 

“Sorry,” she mumbled. Must be the meds he had given her, she would need to be careful not to let anything else slip.

But thankfully he just looked amused, grinning at her. “It’s okay, you make a good point. So no frivolous medical transports—you’ll just have to put up with me making sure you get home safe the old-fashioned way.”

She screwed up her face, and looked around for her jacket. “I don’t need—” She didn’t make it even two steps in the direction of the table where he had placed her jacket before her legs turned to jelly and almost gave out under her.

“You _do_ need my help if you won’t let me transport you,” he said cheerfully as he caught her deftly before she slid to the floor.

“Oh,” was all she managed in response. The room was spinning.

“Dizzy?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Just give it a second, your head should clear a little when you are used to being upright again.”

In the end she did manage to walk back to her quarters, Julian supporting her all the way to her door. They had lapsed into a comfortable silence, but his small occasional smiles down at her let her know he really didn’t mind.

“Want me to help you…” He gestured inside her quarters.

She shook her head. “I’ll be okay.” The idea of him tucking her into bed should have made her uncomfortable, but in truth her only objection was that it was so late and what if someone saw them?

Disturbed that she wasn’t more bothered by the idea of him helping her to bed, Kira let go of Julian’s arm and shook herself slightly. Those drugs were really doing a number on her head. “But thank you,” she added, “and for walking me here, and the…everything.”

He held her gaze for a moment, a softness in his eyes that captivated her, his lips parting slightly.

“Goodnight, Nerys.”

“Goodnight,” she whispered, half-stumbling inside her quarters, unable to breathe until the doors slid closed between them.


End file.
